Tuesday, October 12, 2010

BAD, BAD Weekend!!! (depressing rant)

Do you ever have one of those weekends when something sets you off and you can't stop eating? This was the weekend. It started on saturday when I made my lo-fat cranberry muffins and ended up eating 3 or 4 of them. They were pretty darn good and I told myself I wouldn't eat anything else until later that evening at the Oktoberfest party. BIG MISTAKE!!! We also had falafal for lunch and wasn't as good as I remembered it but I ate anyway. OH well.

Later, we went to the Oktoberfest party....and then I saw her (A)... pregnant. I had to look twice to make sure and yep she sure was. (A bit about her: 2 years ago at the age of 41 she was pregnant but ended up losing her baby 2 days after delivery. She was devastated and I really didn't think she would try again). But there she was, right in front of me, 6 months pregnant (naturally) at the age of 43. I was happy for her and yet I felt very depressed afterwards.

For anyone who's every gone through infertility like me, it's one of the most hardest thing one can go through. It breaks you down mentally and physically, it consumes you and it's the only thing you can think about. I thought I was over it but I guess not. It brought back memories and now realize I still want to have a child. Yes, it still hurts. GOD THIS MAKES ME WANT TO EAT!!!

B was as supportive as he can be but you know men, they really don't have the right thing to say. I feel very alone and hungry and stressed and overweight. Will anything ever go right for me? For us? Will we ever get lucky?

Sunday I moped around and didn't get anything done. We watched football, then ate, and watched more football. 

Monday was a bit better.  I managed to put away my summer clothes and bring out the sweaters even though it was 80 degrees outside.  Hey, it's supposed to get into the high 60's tomorrow, so bring it on!!!!

Maybe this weekend didn't start off to be that great, but today is a new day and my eating habits have been good so far. If I'm at work, I'm usually good during the day but once I get home because I'm so hungry, I start snacking before I cook. It's usually a quick fix like crackers and cheese, or bread, or something salty and then dinner too. That does add on the calories.

As for exercise, I did ride my bike in to work today but will have to leave it at work since dh is taking me to the chiropractor. Afterwards, haircut appointment, then dinner. Not sure what yet. God, is my life this boring? I need to mix it up a bit. Thrift shopping?  At least I'll get a haircut.

My new wants:
Langford oxford heels by J.Crew

1 comment:

  1. J. Crew has the cutest shoes! Too bad their flats are so uncomfortable though. Have you bought any of their heels or boots?

    Thanks for the comment!